Lazy Friday Activities

Every other college kid dreams of having no classes on Friday; it’s the perfect schedule, honestly. You don’t have to get up early, and you can stay up as late as you want on Thursday. It sounds good until that one Friday comes around where there is absolutely nothing to do, then what are you left to do? If it’s warm out, you could explore but what about when it’s cold?

If you go to a small college like me, I promise you that there is absolutely nothing to do if you are broke, can’t drive, and too stubborn to go out in the cold. I’ve literally done nothing all day today except my homework. As encouraging as it is to do your homework, it’s not what I want to do on a Friday and because of that, I’ve compiled a list of things you could do instead of your homework.

Read a book.

I know, I know, how is it any better than homework? Think of it this way, you’re getting the opportunity to pick what to read and you’re doing it on your own terms. Doesn’t that make reading ten times better; to be able to do it on your own free will.

Book Recommendation: 

Ten Tiny Breath Series by K.A Tucker

Sparrow by L.J Shen

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Mass

Watch a movie/binge watch Netflix.

Movies are always the go-to when there is nothing for me to do. It’s fun watching it by yourself, but getting together with a group of friends is even better. It’s okay to talk and joke while watching with your friends because if it’s the right group of friends, it’s not annoying but entertaining.

Movie Recommendations:

Love Rosie

The Impossible

Zootopia

Netflix Binge: 

Grey’s Anatomy

New Girl

The Vampire Diaries

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Hang out with your friends.

I know that “me time” can be very special to some people, and it is very much needed from time to time especially if you’re living in the dorms, but seek out your friends every now and then. People aren’t joking when they say that these friends will last a lifetime. You’ll spend so much time with them, late nights and all, that as a result, you’ll build a bond so strong it’s scary.

Reenact your childhood.

Build a fort. No, seriously, build a fort with your friends. You’re never too old to play. It can range from playing board games, card games, marco-polo, or even hide and seek. I mean come on, if you’re living in a dorm, hide and seek will probably be the most exhilarating games ever. 

Be active.

Trust me when I say freshmen 15 is real. You don’t have to be outside to be active. Use your surroundings; run up and down the stairs, do lunges up and down the stairs, etc. Just use your imagination, grab a couple friends, and who knows, maybe working out will be fun.

And We’re Adulting in 3…2…1

Heeelllllooooo adulthood!

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Nice to meet you, I’m childhood and I must say I was not ready for any of this. I just wanted to dip my big toe into the water to test it out and before I knew it, this huge current dragged me in and dropped me in the deepest end of adulthood.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t as bad as I’m making it because I know it’s only going to get worst, but can we just acknowledge the huge reality check that I, along with all my other freshies, just received. I mean, everything was good; FAFSA covered my tuition, I only had to take out three-thousand in loans, and I have a job that pays. Life was sweet for the most part, BUT THEN, I come home and had the good sense to check my loans and seven dollars have been added to my loans.

SEVEN DOLLARS?!? SEVEN FREAKING DOLLARS?!

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Okay, okay, it’s not even that bad, but dude that’s seven mcchickens if you think about it! I knew the interest would eventually build, so I don’t know why I’m so surprised, but it was definitely a reminder that I needed to stop playing around. After that, I spent most of my winter break applying for scholarships, more jobs, and sleeping. (Don’t judge me, adult stuff is hard.) Even through all of that, I still feel like a complete mess.

Legally, I’m an adult, but I still have the mentality of a seven year old. Like most people my age, I’m left feeling like a bag of struggle, regret, and exhaustion. As fun as the college life is, it also requires a sense of maturity that most of us have not developed yet(aka me). So, to all the children stepping into adulthood now, or who have already been dragged in unwillingly, hang in there.

It’s hard at first, and it’ll continue to get hard, but that’s okay. You’ll have responsibilities that you didn’t even know were responsibilities. You’ll experience some type of culture shock, and you’ll make friends that will either support you or leave you hanging. “Adulthood” isn’t meant to scare you, but to make you grow and realize all the potential you have. Of course, I wouldn’t follow my advice word for word, keep in mind I’m going through the struggle just as much as you, but hang in there. If it gets too hard, just stop; take a deep breath, get yourself some comfort food, and resume when you are ready.

“It takes courage to grow up and become  who you really are.”

-e.e cummings

How I Fell in Love with Writing Again

I had this love for writing.

It was amazing simply because words could not describe how passionate I was about it. I would write about anything and everything; if I were being honest, most of my writing didn’t make sense, but that’s okay because I don’t make sense.

Writing is just another form of expression, and I loved it because I could still express myself with no judgment. (Okay, that’s a complete lie, someone will always be judging you.)  I could write however I wanted to and face little to no consequences because for every person opposing me, another could always relate/understand. As empowering as I felt when writing, I eventually fell out of love with writing. It no longer kept me happy, instead, it felt like a chore. I felt like in order for my writing to matter, it had to be deep, filled with wisdom and appreciative. After a while, I was no longer writing for myself and my experiences, but rather, writing for other people through their experiences.

I took a little hiatus and learned that the love of writing never really left when I arrived on campus. I moved in early, and as “homey” as Whitewater felt, I was still away from home and on my own. When I would get frustrated, I immediately turned to a form of writing. If I had something to say but didn’t have the courage to actually express it, I turned to writing. Writing was a solution and there I found that I never fell out of love with writing in the first place.

Just like any true relationship, you never really fall out of love with the subject/object at hand; sometimes you just need to return to square one again and discover all the reasons why you fell in love with it in the first place.

I guess, what I’m trying to say is, never convince yourself that you don’t love something anymore just because you hit a roadblock. Not everyone will agree with the way you think, not everyone will support how you feel and that’s okay. If you truly love something, the way I love writing, then continue to pursue it because everything requires time, patience, and understanding.

“Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.”

-E. L. Doctorow

To the Boy I Loved for a Year

Dear boy I loved for a year,

It was inevitable.

Summer is coming to an end, we’re both going to two different colleges, and the distance was too much for us to handle. I would’ve loved for us to at least keep in touch, to finally talk to each other about how we were really feeling, but I guess it just wasn’t an option for us.

“College doesn’t change everyone,” I wanted to say, but even I didn’t know if that was true. We were kids, still are kids in my opinion, who were in way over their heads. I didn’t think I could love someone as much as I did you, especially in a year, but I guess a lot can change within a year.

Was it real love? I’m not sure, but it was definitely more than puppy love. With you I experience so many skipped heartbeats, endless hours of embarrassment, and a kind of happiness that I cannot describe.

Although there is a bitterness in my heart at the things that we left unsaid, I understand why things happened the way they did. It’s time I take my own advice and make peace with myself.

So, to the boy I loved for a year, I want to say goodbye.

 

I spent 12 months loving you, 1 month hating you, and the last month of my freedom forgiving you. I hope you’ve forgiven me as well and that in another month, both of us will stop with the “what if’s” and live.

I am making peace with myself and with you. You were my first love and will forever be my most cherished love. You showed me a love that I could’ve never imagine and made my heart skip a beat each and every time I saw you. You always showed me so much tenderness, as if you were afraid I would break. You gave me distance when I needed it but always pulled me back when I had gone too far. You gave me the perfect fairy tale, even it ends with us parting ways and for that I thank you. I hope you continue to treat every girl you love with the same tenderness you showed me. I hope you find your happily ever after and I sincerely hope we cross paths again.

 

Sincerely,

The girl you loved for a year

Make Peace With Yourself

Before you run off to college, make peace with yourself. Don’t run off with a heavy heart, a guilty conscious, and a list filled with things unsaid. If you absolutely need to run, then go, run like the wind, but know that everything will catch up eventually so do not find comfort in running.

To my ladies, do not wait for a knight in shining armor to save you. Save yourself, find yourself, and make peace with yourself.

To my men, do not wait for the next princess to save your “damaged soul”.  Save yourself, find yourself, and make peace with yourself.

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I’m not saying you need to go explore nature and be one with yourself, as nice as that may sound, but I am saying take some time to know and learn from yourself. For example, one day, when I was re-organizing my book self, it completely fell apart. I nearly cried because my bookshelf represented my life and just before me it crumbled. I tried to fix it, but it just kept falling apart. Finally, I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture. Instead of trying to fix it all at once, I took my time and started small. That day, I learned that I need to slow down. Instead of tackling things all at once and rushing, I needed to start small and be patient with myself.

You don’t have to go into the wilderness and find peace within yourself, you can do it anywhere, really. So once again, take the time to understand yourself, be patient with yourself, and make peace with yourself.

 

 

Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma,

You are my hero. With you, I witness the purest form of humanity. You were filled with so much love, compassion, and patience. You shined brighter than the sun and showed me more than the moon ever could. Your wisdom flowed like a river, continuous, strong, and resourceful. 

With you, and only you, I showed my humanity. I shared my deepest thoughts, faced my deepest fears, and cried to my soul’s content with you. I presented myself to you in my most fragile state and you conditioned me to love her. You showed me how to embrace her and respect her; to accept that she was apart of me and will always be apart of me. 

With you, I witness the purest form of humanity… and without you, I discovered the other side. 

I saw a world filled with cruelty. I experienced feelings of indifference, hatred, and heartlessness. I fought with my feelings of hostility and battled with my bitterness. With you I saw love and without you I couldn’t see it at all. I subjected myself to the darker side of humanity and I don’t regret it one bit. 

I believe, that in a way, you prepared me for the worst. Your ability to show patience and love in the eyes of evil helped me overcome the darkest side of humanity. Even in my most bitter state, I showed compassion. In the worst situations, I showed patience. In the eyes of hatred, I showed love. 

And so, today, your 1 year death anniversary, I remember you as not only my grandma, but my mentor and my guide. I miss you more than anything. I think about you daily and remember your words of wisdom. Although my heart is still filled with a bitterness at your loss, I’ve learned to accept life as it is and embrace it as it comes. With love, compassion, and patience, I continue to live in your memory. You will always be my tais laus and I will always be your me nais. 

Yours truly, 

me nais.

I am Mine Before I am Ever Anyone Else’s

 

I’ve had a lot of troublecropped-pinterest11.jpg coming to terms with this quote. For some odd reason, I was immediately drawn to it and it’s stuck with me for the past year and a half. I’m not sure what it means exactly, but it has definitely made a mark. To me, it is a constant reminder that I will always have a choice.

I’ve always had this bad habit of putting my needs last. (Now, I’m not saying this is a bad thing; it has taught me patience, caring, and has open my mind to a lot of things.) I never did anything for myself, and because of that I lost my way a little. While everyone was focused on building themselves, I was focused on supporting them wholeheartedly and forgetting that I needed to build myself as well. I’ve made countless decisions for myself based on other people’s thoughts and feelings. Because of that, I’ve also gotten myself in a lot of trouble. I was so wrapped up in everyone else’s opinion that I buried my own voice. Somewhere along the lines of this summer, I’ve come to the realization that no one has my back like I do. While everyone is thinking of themselves, I should be thinking of me too, because I matter.

It was time for me to respect myself more, to have more confidence in myself. Instead of giving all my thoughts and opinions to someone else, I gave them to myself and in return I found my voice. Slowly but surely, make my own decisions, I voice my own opinions, and I build myself up.

There is nothing wrong with being there for other people, and putting their needs before you, but don’t make a habit of it. At the end of the day, nothing matters to you except your comfort. Be there for those who can’t be there for themselves, but know your limits.

You matter. They matter. We all matter.