And All I Could Do Was Cry

So I have reached my breaking point.

Everything was going so well for me. I mean, time management was a little hard, but other than that life was good. It wasn’t the best but it wasn’t the worst. I could deal with the things that were thrown my way, I was very contempt. I got a job interview, I started writing again, everything seemed to fall into place. And then it happened.

I tried to convince myself that it would stay good, but the more I convinced myself, the easier it became to notice the bad.

This morning I was notified that there was a mistake on my financial aid and I would have to repay a large sum of money. Of course, I kept my composure, but the second I stepped outside of the building all hell broke loose. I was hysterical. Seriously, I kid you not, I probably looked crazy. I was walking with inhumane speed. There were waterfalls coming down my face, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a waterfall of snot running down my face either. It was drizzling outside, the wind was so forceful that it was howling. If the weather wasn’t already like that before I went into the meeting, I would’ve been convinced that I was the one altering the weather with my emotions. Anyway, I called my cousin immediately, because she is my best friend and I trust her with my life.

(Quick shout out to my cousin Nouchi Yang who left in the middle of a lecture to calm me down. She is honestly the sweetest, most selfless person I have ever met in my entire life.)

All I could do was cry and apologize; I’m pretty sure I apologized more than I cried. I felt so sorry for calling her in the middle of class but I didn’t know what to do and who to call. Of course, she was probably a little scared because I rarely ever cry, but even then she yelled at me. “Stop apologizing stupid, it’s not your fault,” are her exact words. Eventually, I got off the phone with her and had some deep thinking to do.

I know what I need to do and I understand the consequences I have to face, but yet all I could do was cry.

Read the rest here. 

 

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