And just like that, all those memories, those feelings, that scared little girl came rushing forward. She swam to the surface again, to take a deep breathe before being violently shoved into the water and dragged away by it’s currents.
I thought she drowned with her demons. I thought she sacrificed herself so that her demons would be satisfied… but I was wrong.
One word. One memory. And they all came back.
Her demons fought free and made their way to the surface towards me as I watch the little girl gasped desperately for air. Her eyes pleaded with me, they were begging for me to save her this time and I tried to comply, but as I reached out to pull her to safety, I froze.
She looked me over once and understood, I wasn’t ready to save her yet and I didn’t know if I would ever be ready.
So she gathered her demons once again and waited patiently as they shoved her violently beneath the surface. I watched her use her soul as an anchor to contain the demons beneath the surface just long enough for the next trigger to come running along. It was then that I realized the little girl took my face, and she held my demons while she prayed and hope that when the next trigger came, I would be ready.
When that day comes again, we both prayed and hoped that I could make her demons my angels and we would both be saved.